The Anguish of Editing
I’ve been quiet here and around the Internets for several weeks. In December, we had our family road trip, but that wasn’t the only thing that kept me subdued. I’ve also been in my editing cave.
Oh. My. Gandalf.
I’m tellin’ y’all. Having a book is like having a newborn baby. I have been so out of everything for the last couple of weeks. For someone who wanted 2012 to be the Year of Balance, I’ve been woefully inept at achieving that goal thus far. I’ve had total and complete tunnel vision. I haven’t exercised even once. I’ve put off everything around the house until the last possible moment. Clean clothes? The kids know where the washer and dryer are. Food? They can forage. Okay, I drove them to school and scouting, but then it was pretty much right back to editing.
I came up for air today. I hit a good stopping point, so I decided I needed to take a break.
*blink blink* Holy cats, it’s bright outside of the cave.
For all that, it’s been a remarkably successful editing jag. I’ve gone through about three votive candles and listened to I don’t even know how many hours of Pandora. The chocolate stores are quite depleted. Alcohol? Up until the last couple of days, I actually was pretty restrained. I’m not much of an editor when there’s whiskey in my body. But coffee? Dude, it’s been a string of two-pot days and semi-sleepless nights. I’m starting to look like the stereotypical writer. I’ve been wearing a big sweater and fluffy socks, no matter whether they go with anything else. And really, what else would go with ratty jeans, anyway? The vacant stares, the cramped hands, the odd tilt of the head when my children speak to me (“who are you again? Wait–what day is it?”)–yes. That’s been me.
This session has not been without its challenges. There have been long periods of staring at the screen, starting to type, deleting, cutting, pasting, erasing, starting again, staring, lather, rinse, repeat. There have been days of getting ten chapters out of the way and days of getting two chapters done. There has been massive chopping and moving, rewriting, adding, deleting of sacred cows and darlings.
But there have also been golden moments. I was re-reading a section the other day and found a sentence that, if read in the context of the whole story, was a lovely little piece of foreshadowing that I hadn’t even seen before. I hadn’t even intended it. It was as if my subconscious put it there to remind me that, when it’s all said and done, I really do know this story. That’s quite a relief, lemme tell ya.
There is nothing more angst-inducing than editing, I’m convinced. I re-read my work sometimes and cringe. “Who let me put down this drek?” I cry to the universe. (Or maybe just to the aforementioned votive candle.) I look at my structure and think, “what on earth was I thinking?” The Editor and the Muse have conversations something like this:
Editor: Really? Another glance? Get over the eye tic.
Muse: Oo, butterflies!
And then the Editor throws up her hands, deletes the glance, and fixes the sentence while the Muse chases shiny things and ignores me.
So that’s where I am right now. You can probably tell it’s late and I’m loopy, but this is what’s left after two weeks of editing. It’s a good feeling to have hit this stopping point, but I’m tired. I don’t have much of an update about any significant projects just yet, but I should be on the blog, Facebook, and Twitter a little more for a few weeks. Then, we’ll see.
More to come.
In the meantime, could someone turn down the lights a little?
There have been days of getting ten chapters out of the way and days of getting two chapters done. There has been massive chopping and moving, rewriting, adding, deleting of sacred cows and darlings.
Don’t forget the hysterical sobbing.
I go through phases of trying to justify keeping everything and phases of wanting to trash the whole thing. Right now, as my book is about to be released, my mind still races, thinking of all the ways I could have done better. BUT BUT BUT.
There is definitely such a thing as too much editing.
Oh right–the hysterical sobbing! Maybe that’s when I finally broke down and had whiskey. I’m familiar with those phases too, Vivien. There is such a thing as too much. I think someone said Stephen King even feels like his stuff could always use one more pass. I take great comfort in that.
Editing is proof to me that all writers are, at heart, reincarnated torturers. We torture our characters, and then we torture ourselves. What a bunch of sadists!
I’m about to disappear back into my editing cave at my own volition. No wonder my husband thinks writing is a form of insanity!
LOL, Pip! Yes! I think you’re right! We’re all just holdovers from the Spanish Inquisition or something. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
Editing definitely teaches us things about ourselves that we’d rather not have known …. :-/
LOL, Laurel. Indeed. Both good and bad. I think my kids like me when I’m editing, though. I get really loopy and forget things and let them get away with a lot.
In the middle of editing my own work, I have felt all the things near and dear to your heart. And I agree with Laura: some of what I learn, while I should have known it, I didn’t. But isn’t that what our beta readers are for? To twist our necks around so we can see the foolishness we thought Oh so clever at the time. Or the sub plot that only fills our needs and not the story’s.
Anyway, I’m anxiously awaiting the results of your editing, almost as much as I am mine!
Thanks for sharing, it’s nice to see you back.
Thanks, Tony. Yes, that’s definitely what editors and betas are for. I realized that a lot of what I cut was just there for me. Some of it was just character-building stuff that helped cement the people in my head, but some was world-building stuff that I could tuck away for future use.
I hope I’m back for a little while now. Here’s hoping I find a little balance!
Ah, Amy, I adore your blog so much.
I’m hoping this year will lead to plenty of angst ridden editing next year (as in I will actually have more rough drafts to edit!). 
Btw, I finally bought Ravenmarked since I received a Kindle for Christmas.
And Servant of Dreams and Silver Thaw have been moved to said Kindle for re-reading. So expect +1 sales for when you publish Bloodbonded (but don’t rush, I can enjoy the anticipation).
Happy new year!
Aw, thanks, Leanna.
Yay on getting a Kindle! You’ll love it! 
I hope you enjoy my work. Happy new year to you, too!
Egad, the eye tic. I can’t tell you how relieving it is that you have it, too. I mean, I’d rather neither of us had to suffer through looks, glances, peering, and gazing every time a character does anything, but I’m not alone!
I bought myself a new pack of highlighters today (Australian Back To School sales, yes!). Pink will be dedicated to typos/misspellings. Green will be dedicated to telling, not showing. Orange will be dedicated to ambiguous, weak, or passive writing. And yellow will be dedicated to eye tics. I am truly afraid of how frequently yellow will come up. Oh man. Here’s luck, to the both of us!
~Ashlee
http://ashleesch.com
http://theDragonsHoard.bigcartel.com
Ashlee, I tell myself, “at least I’m not an adverb addict.” I guess that’s something, right? Good luck to you on the editing!
Man, it made me tired just to read that. I’m trying to get out of the marketing phase and into the editing phase, but the adding-in-all-the-changes-my-editor-suggested phase is hanging me up. It’s so boring and hard to look over my outline to see where to fit this stuff in. I just want to start writing it. But I know if I do that it’s going to take me more than one round of edits. Of course if would help if I could stop letting myself get distracted by email and the Internet.
Lisa, I know exactly what you mean. I think you just have to go back to the old “how do you eat an elephant” thing and take it one bite at a time. It’s overwhelming and frustrating at times, but I just had to go step by step, issue by issue. Maybe set a timer and just tell yourself “one hour” at a time or whatever? You’ll do it, I know, because I know quality is really important to you. You can do it!